10 more #intranet features that really should exist

Here at Intranetizen we started thinking about the intranet features we’d love to see, but as yet haven’t seen the light of day. An hour later, we published our first ten but with so many left, we knew a second (and maybe third) instalment would quickly follow.

So, sit tight, round 2!

1. He’s behind you

Whenever you type someone’s name in an instant message or email, the system checks their location using mobile phone data. If they’re close by, you can a panto-style “He’s behind you” alert.

2. Coffee Codes on Profiles

I want Coffee (++ strength) + Sugar + Milk from the machine next to marketing. I want you to know that’s my fancy. You will see it on my profile. You can bring it to me when you’re ready.

3. Conditional Presence Awareness

One of the problems with presence awareness, particularly those directly linked to your diary, is that it’s just too easy for people to identify the perfect moment to come and drop by. This is just about acceptable for people you like but also raises the possibility of visits from the objectionable. Conditional presence awareness uses whitelists and blacklists of employees you set up in your contacts as well as profile searches.

• My diary is empty and you’re on my whitelist = I’m available
• My diary is empty and you’re on my blacklist = Busy
• My diary is empty, we’ve never met but our profiles suggest alignment somehow = available or tentative

4. Executive Darts

Select an employee of your choice and your intranet drags their photo from their profile. Using your mouse, aim virtual darts at their face. Cathartic and fun.

League tables will show the most selected (virtually speared) employees. Very tempting to link their popularity to their bonus.

5. “Meet Me” Passive Diary Management

You just say you want to meet Janie from accounts and your diaries do the rest. The software finds the time, sends the invitations and books the room. We don’t understand why we need to do all this manually anymore.

6. Project Name Generator

Because what that highly credible and important project needs, is a name that conveys importance, demands attention and looks super cool in your diary. Project Amethystwhisker for the win. Fancy project logo — as above — optional.

7. Spare Charger Locator widget

We’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve heard a shout of “Has anyone got a charger for a….?”. Add your devices and charger information to your profile and then your colleagues can search for their power saviour.

8. Look Busy button

You’ve been sucked into a game of 2048 when out of the corner of your eye you spot the director coming your way. This handy keyboard shortcut pulls up an important-looking spreadsheet.

9. Fridge Watch

No more making a round of tea to find someone has used all but a thimbleful of milk. This app tracks if there’s milk in the fridge and whether it’s still in date. Version 2.0 even tracks those sneaky people who leave just about enough to justify not buying a fresh bottle.

10) ESN idiot filter

Enterprise Social Networks allow anyone to post their thoughts,  even people who use moronic phrases like YOLO!    Idiot filter can be set up to filter all such posts from your feed –  or even prevent them being posted in the first place.

Did you miss the first ten ideas? Tomorrow, we’ll write up your excellent suggestions and it’s not too late to make the post! Drop us your ideas in the comments, tweet us or hashtag it #intraWANT with the 10 best making tomorrow’s blog.