Your suggestions: Final 8 #intranet features that really should exist

Our first twenty intranet features (10, 10) appear to have got you all thinking about features you’d like to see on an intranet near you in the near future. We’ve really enjoyed writing these and reading your suggestions so thank you. And so, the final few are over to you.

1. Friday pint countdown clock

Handy tool that counts down the hours until it’s officially the weekend and you can forget about being a corporate slave and go and have a beer/glass of wine/poison of choice. It’s Monday 09:00 … only another 104 hours. (HT @footshort82)

2. Passive aggressive note generator

Some colleagues are too stupid or too sedated to notice how angry you really are so employing extreme sarcasm in a passive aggressive email is the only way you’ll express your views and take the intellectual high ground. (HT @al_osaur)

3. A useful people directory that identify sociopaths, bores and the stupid

… and ideally current location. We think some sections of employee profiles should be open for others to edit. Instant feedback. (HT @RupertLB)

4. Individual meeting punctuality metrics

Are you always late or a stickler for good time-keeping? Meeting organisers score attendees on their punctuality with results aggregated for teams and divisions. Make this this an overall strategic KPI. (HT @Christubb)

5. Coffee and tea shade swatches on employee profiles

I’ll show you exactly how much milk I want in my tea with this colour swatch. Match that. Exactly. This idea reminds us of the coffee-coloured mug idea but is intranet gold never-the-less (HT @ChrisTubb)

6. “Is the director in his office?” webcam

Stalk him from all over the globe with this handy webcam. Every office drop by will score, every call will always get through. You can even tell when he’s deliberately ignoring you. (HT @corylus)

7. Coffee break calculator

Fetches your salary from the HR system, and tells you just how much you got paid for spending 20 minutes in the coffee shop talking to Ian in accounts about last night’s football. Makes employees feel they’ve got one over on the man (HT … oh we’re not sure. Own up!)

8. Job interview excuse writer

“Erm, I was burying my mother”
“I always wear a suit, surely you’ve noticed?”
“I need to go to the doctors. Problem down below”

We’ve had a lot of fun with this series and we’re struck by how many of you would implement some of these ideas. But do such tools really have a place on intranets? In the coming weeks, we’ll talk about the importance of fun in driving intranet use and adoption.