Intranet white lies we have all said

There are those days, even those meetings, where you know you are going to have a tough conversation; either with a colleague, a stakeholder or a content owner about what they want to do or see on the intranet. Try as you might but your usual cunning arguments are failing and no amount of practical insights will get them to see that what they are suggesting is just plain wrong, well … because it just is!

How do you get past that awkward moment where feet are firmly planted on either side? Today, for a bit of Friday fun, the Intranetizen team share a top 17 list of intranet white lies that will convince even the most cynical stakeholder.

Please note, we suggest you use these sparingly and only for good. You know, that time when you just know you are right!

1.  Did you know document sets are the new document folders and using document folders would be labelled as a risk? (it’s a risk because it annoys me)
2. What you are doing is illegal (do not be specific, the detail will haunt you)
3. I user tested that and nobody likes that (… and that user was me and I really hated it then. I’ll repeat it right now and show you how much I hate it again)
4. We don’t have enough resources to complete this. My suggestion is this approach as we can support it (we never have enough resources. Your idea dies here)
5. There is a weird rule in France that means we can’t do that (… oh France, you’re great, always ready to back me up)
6. IT say no (change this to legal if it’s IT asking)
7. This exact practice was listed in a presentation on 10 Intranet Fails by [insert plausible expert’s name] (yea, your idea is totally lame)
8. That’s a rather 2008 solution (… slap down!)
9. But will it translate? (… into Chinese? Russian? Arabic? Yea, thought not)
10. It’s not on the roadmap (but please, PLEASE, don’t ask to see the roadmap)
11. We’ll fix the SSO in phase 3 (the mystical phase 3. We haven’t even talked about phase 2. Phase 3 will occur when the sun cools)
12. Integration with SAP will be seamless (depending on your definition of seamless)
13. Search will work (yep, it’s all about your expectations, fool)
14. Search is witchcraft and Google is an unfair enterprise search benchmark (if you repeat this so often enough, you’ll start believing)
15. That fails (non-specified) accessibility standards (best not specify)
16. Yes, this is a priority for us too (yea, we’re all in this together. In a way)
17. The CMS can’t do that (It could if I could be bothered)

Have you used a little white lie to help convince to see your way? If so, let us know in the comments  below.